She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Randomize
