We're like a lot better than the average bears
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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