Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
dude. I can hear the air.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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