Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
