things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
