Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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