DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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