who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
