there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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