I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
