They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
