the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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