Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
