Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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