We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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