the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
