yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
