I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
