i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
