Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
