How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Even my vagina gasped.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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