just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Bring me that man meat
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
