Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have fence marks all over my body
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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