which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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