you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
