does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
