I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
