I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
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