I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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