i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
