We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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