What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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