Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
