Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
