he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
