let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize