is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
