dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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