dude i'm inner monologue high
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I think a kid would responsible me up
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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