we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I had to cum in my sink.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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