he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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