Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
