Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
