well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just high enough for therapy.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
