I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
