He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
