He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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