We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
