My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Randomize
