apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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