I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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