spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
